colector: [JournalWriting] Re: What is your identity?

--- In JournalWriting@yahoogroups.com, Lucy Francisco
<phoenix_elements@...> wrote:
> I'm actually better at French than of the Filipino language.

Trust me, Lucy, that's more useful LOL!

> I would be embarassed by my father ordering from a menu in a
> nice restaurant because his accent was so thick.

I know what you mean. But, it didn't embarrass me. My dad
has a way of ingratiating himself to people. A natural born
schmoozer. He'd always find a way to make the waiters/
waitresses laugh/smile and nearly always go out of their
way to be nice. Interestingly my (white) father in law is like that
as well... though his son has at some point developed a kind
of arrogance that is distinctly NOT like either. I like to
do the same... remember the names of who served us, any details
they shared, etc.

Anyway, my folks never pushed the flip-american thing growing
up. I got to choose friends and they didn't care what race
they were as long as they were good people. They didn't
even pull the race card when I was dating though I had aunts/
uncles who berated me for not "staying with our own kind."
Complete strangers who ridiculed me for being "not asian"
enough. I guess one has the option of doing that living in a
community with a heavy asian population. It just seemed too
much like I would be dating a cousin LOL!

I guess I just notice it more now as we've moved (and several
times) to where there aren't any asians really. Well,
in Westchester I got shunned by the "white" moms because
they thought I was THE NANNY and then shunned by the largely
Japanese moms (I have no idea why there is such a large
population of them in Westchester) because they though
any other asians NOT Japanese where nannies/servants/prostitutes.

I'm reminded of a scene I'd seen in some movie with
Richard Prior and Gene Wilder "Hear No Evil, See No Evil."
The point in the subway train where Prior goes, "I'm NOT
WHITE?!"

I don't recall the race card until someone else does.
Actually, in here, I've never heard anyone call the race card
on me. Not sure anyone even remembers I look asian.
I'm certainly not "demure" enough. LOL!

Mary, CT